Dear Tracked Stair Chair:

Hello, my Darling Tracked Chair!

My Dearest Tracked Stair Chair,

Fie and Fie again! A right fortnight hath passed since I have held ye, and my spirit most withers. I long to caress the sleek, yellow, all-aluminum construction of thee, and recall with fondness our many excursions down perilous stairwells, o’er unruly terrain, or navigating the plastic coated and crystal adorned great rooms of the sick, injured, or droning, swag-bellied Haggards! Would that I could follow thy four wheels to and fro, whilst eliminating the necessity to tilt or tip passengers in a most ungently manner, until one doth feel as though one’s brains shall boil and froth unto yonder floorboard. How satisfying it doth be to claim thy red bar and hear the snap of thee tracks gnash into place, then make an elegant descent down yon rickety stairway.  Fie upon it! Would that mine hands couldst tug thy red covered wire to extend thy telescoping handle unto yonder cloudways, and trod most merrily bestride thee~the only stair chair I have ever loved!

What say you of those who would palter or oppose to useth thee? Methinks time doth arrive hither for instructions manuals to be construed and studied. Verlily, ye be a vacant, gorbellied, milk-livered, weak-hinged jolthead shouldst ye not heed my statements! The written word hath marked anon, shouldst one hark its call, and come to arms informed...and emerge uninjured and victorious! 

By my stethoscope and shears, I swear to hold thine glossy, ergonomic handle in my adoring grip once more! Fare thee well, meu amor...until we meet again. 

Lov’st,

~Niki

My message: The tracked stair chair is arguably my favorite piece of ambulance equipment. It has a few extra steps, straps, and levers than the regular ol’ chair but it is very simple to use if you take the 14 seconds required to learn them. It has been my experience to hear people grumble, and refuse to partake of this lovely invention. I suspect it is because they haven’t spared 14 seconds to become acquainted with its functions. My opinion only. What else could explain why anyone would prefer the ridiculously hard to maneuver, not too mention 100 percent manual operator weight bearing-even if the pt. weighs 500 lbs other types of stair chairs? Seriously?? Not to mention, the tracked chair has 4 wheels giving it wheelchair-like rolling capability, Even if you didn’t have to carry your pt. it might still be easier to use for extrication than the stretcher. I actually saw someone recently insist on tilting the yellow chair, even though it has four rolling wheels? All that unnecessary extra strain on the arms, shoulders, and back, not to mention how unbalanced and hard to maneuver the chair becomes, doubly not to mention how UNCOMFORTABLE AND AWKWARD that is for the pt to be tipped back like that?!!! And did I mention it has tracks? Yes, tracks. TRACKS. Minimal lifting. Minimal back, neck, and leg strain. Minimal LIFTING. Where is the breakdown here?!!!! Get familiar with and use this piece of equipment, except on ultra windy staircases, one of the only exceptions. Use it. Goodbye. Love you :)

If you don't have to, WHY?